Reality of being a young independent mum

I am now 21. I had my beautiful son at the age of 18.

I have to admit it is a lot of work. I study full time and when I get home to my semi clean 3 bedroom house the fun starts.

From having 4 papers to complete in a matter of 6 months I additionally added to my workload with a certificate in real estate. No one tells you the hard times of parenting. Here's my take on mine and MR twos hard times.

1) You have to be stern with punishment. I give my son 5 minutes time out in his room. He has gotten use to it so there is no longer screaming and banging on the doors.

2)You have to keep up with the inquisitive side of their personalities. My son at the age of two has a fascination with hiding my keys and eftpos card. I have had a few days off school trying to find both. At one time I found it in the jug. 'yes where you boil your water'. Other times in shoes, in suitcases and in clothes piles. It is nice to think that they don't want you to leave. I know I could stay home with him all day but to get a good job I must get qualified.

3)Ants in your pants? My son does this every time we are at The Warehouse (Department store), Grocery store. He can not stay in the trolley. I will walk 2 steps to get an item and turn around to him standing tall in the cart (which is very dangerous). And then the 'should we go sit in the car'? Comes out. Oh my gosh shopping on your own is a mission in itself. If you thinkthat's the hard part try putting an extremely strong two year old buckled in his car seat when he doesn't want to go in.

4)I have been renting on my own for 2 years now and I find a big part of parenting struggle is the resentment that you are missing time out with your baby while you are studying or working. Mr two is always happy. I find myself trying to study for a mid term test, exam, assignment and after all the studying and after dinner is eaten MR two puts him self to sleep. I overcome my small spurts of depression by going out to see animals, parks, drives, get ice cream, eat junk. Yes all the bad stuff we eat makes the bonding time fun and special.

5)Stress. It is hard enough being a fulltime mum, student as well as cooking three meals a day, packing lunches, getting baths/showers done as well as the brushing of teeth, reading of books and walking and activities to keep him entertained. I have to admit in the midst of writing this my son is at my mums for the night because I am so far behind on my assessments. At times I feel I am missing so much of him growing up by being so preoccupied with my degree and certificate. One more year and mummy will be qualified.

6)Travel. I had big ambitions when working two jobs to travel before I was blessed with my son. I see my friends, colleagues and family traveling to beautiful destinations with beaches and historic buildings. I have never been out of New Zealand but eventually will save for the hefty holiday for me and my son when I can. He is charged as an adult ticket and we are on a strict budget so we hope to travel to somewhere affordable in the future.

7) Me time. Occasionally you get your me time in the shower. hahaha or early hours in the morning when they are sleeping. but I have come to realise parenting is so special and it makes ME so happy.
I am responsible for my son, how he is raised and the future he will have. I am responsible to guide him along the right path. In future all these struggles I have had as a parent will fade into happiness of watching my son grow. And that in itself makes me happy.


  1. You sound really mature for your age and like you're a really good mom. Much love,
    Erin Cooper Reed

    1. Hey Erin, I guess it's something you have to do once you decide to become a mum. I fell pregnant months after graduating high school hence why I decided to do my degree to set up a stable life for my son. Still working at it but step by step and little by little we will get there. Thanks so much for reading



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